Thinking.

Thinking is not a bad thing.

Yes. I said it. Thinking is not a bad thing.

This thought has been coming to my mind often these past few days as I have again been wrestling with the implications of social media, our addiction to it, and our tendency to simply accept a complacency not only when it comes to our daily routines but also with the answers of faith and life that we guzzle without truly thinking them through.

These two ideas may not seem to be correlated, at least, not on the surface. Recently I have been hopping back onto the social media sites that I had practically given up this past summer, and the one thing I truly began to notice was how quickly my time was being wasted staring at a screen that only offers an augmented reality. Sure, your facebooks and your instagrams may show you glimpses of the real world, but it is only a representation of what has been as heavily edited as a teenage girl's "Selfie Sunday" post. Yet we go on, staring at screens, having silent conversations with the people that are sitting somewhere else silently staring at a screen when they could be engaging and interacting with those around them and, more importantly, with the God that is speaking to us from the words of His book and the jaw-dropping complexity of His creation.

But to engage in the creation that God has placed us in we must do something. We must willingly detach ourselves from our televisions, our cell phones, our iPods and our social media empires so that we can look around and be reminded that life is more than the number of followers you have on Twitter.

I believe that this is scary to many of us, because the quieter it gets and the more still our anxious thumbs become, the more the questions begin to pour into our minds. What is unnerving is that, to many, blocking out these questions is why they plunge themselves into the mental paralysis in the first place. Maybe its because these questions involve a sort of abandonment of the pre-wrapped answers that I mentioned earlier. Maybe its because these questions involve us finally picking a side to stand on instead of doing our strange universalist dance in between mushy opinions that we perform so often. Maybe it's because we are complacent, or maybe it's because we don't think that our current beliefs about God and humanity can stand up to the questions that lurk in our minds.

My challenge is that you take the time to think things through. I know that I sure have been. Question things, its okay to stop posting tweets and selfies and links to funny gifs of cats in order to think. Its okay to stop and ask why you believe something. And I can assure you, God is big enough to handle the questions.

For Jesus. Everything for Jesus.

Onwards.

College: Go.

Starting this college journey has been one of the most strange, sad, and exciting parts of my whole life.

I mean, how could it not be. I just trekked my way across 500 miles away from everything that was comfortable, everything that I was used to, and all the people that I had grown accustomed to seeing on a daily basis.

And now I am here in Seward, Nebraska (or the Nebraskaland as I usually call it). I am sitting in a college classroom waiting for class to start and still trying to get into the swing of this whole "homework is a full time job" thing. I have been furiously typing more notes than ever before in my life, and I am realizing that all that extra stuff that my teachers made me do to prepare me for this moment at the end of my senior year was worth it.

I am also learning that there are more important things in life than grades, and that even though my whole reason for being here is to get the grades and learn as much as I can, I am understanding more and more fully what it means to be a follower of Christ.

I remember distinctly my moment of faith on my way to college (although it was only a few days ago), it was a bit along these lines:

My life is changing.

It will never be quite the same as it was this summer.

All the previous relationships I had (save a few) are completely different, and I am about to be tossed into a feeding frenzy of first impressions and friend-making.

I am not as ready as I thought I would be.

But.

He is constant.

He knows what He is doing.

I can trust Him. 

You see, there are a lot of new and challenging opportunities that start the moment you step out of your car onto campus. And a lot of times, in the space of that one step, faiths are completely and radically altered. It was (and continually is) my prayer that He would shape me to be a beacon of His light to all those I come into contact with. 

First impressions. 

Let His light shine through. 

New situations. 

Let His light shine through my actions.

I am "on my own".

Let His light guide us all through the difficulties.

We have a new home here.

Let His light guide us back to our true home.

Onwards.

The March Idol

I’m talking about March Madness, Matness, Baseball, or anything else that has completely captivated your attention this month. If you are an American, you more than likely know about these iconic episodes of sporting competition, especially if you are one of the masses who makes your bracket with the clear intent of going for “perfection”, and hopefully cashing out with some extreme amount of money.

Unpopular opinion time.

Despite my roles on several teams, including being the manager of a now STATE CHAMPION girls basketball team (congrats ladies), I can only sit back and cringe sometimes. I sit in classes or at lunch and hear nothing but fanatical craze over who has the best bracket at the moment, or about who has the broader more intense knowledge of college basketball. And nothing is wrong with being able to know things about all this stuff. God gave it to us for a reason. The important thing to remember is that we must take it in moderation.

The ancient Israelites got caught up in a lot of the same stuff. Of course, back then it wasn't “Rabbi Rallies” and brackets full of the best shepherds around. But they did fall time and time again into the hands of the idols.

**Definition //Idol//:

anything that takes our center

of worship and desire away from God**

And whether we acknowledge it or not, we are surrounded by idols on all sides. They have just shifted forms from small shiny statues and temples to paper money, perfect brackets, women in next to no clothing, and straight A report cards. These things latch onto our hearts and whisper their lies to us. They convince us to trust them, to wipe aside priorities so that they may gain the throne of your heart.

What happens is this: we find new passions. We chase them. We give our best for them. And slowly they peel and cut their way to our prime focus. And while you may have multiple focuses, it is clear that only one god can have control of your heart. And the One and Only God is not interested in sharing it. He wants all of us as He gave all of Himself to win us back from the power of sin and death. And I sit back and think about how I can make time and focus on the things of the idols and still claim that I don’t have enough time to read the Bible or pray for myself and those in need all around me. My challenge is to put aside these things, even for just 30 minutes.

I know that none of us are perfect. I know that I have my own idol struggles. But my caution is that of the end of 1 John 5 “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.” Just some thoughts for the season.

Now to Him who gave it all for us, so that we may live in this beautiful struggle to know Him and grow deeper with Him for the rest of this life, to Him be all the glory.

The Train Station

Standing in the bitter cold with a bunch of strangers isn't exactly what someone might call "a rager of a Friday night", especially with Christmas coming up in just a few days. 

I was watching the people around me peer down the train tracks waiting for the train car so that we could climb out of the cold (because the light rail cars here in Denver are very well heated, I assure you). And once we were inside the expectation of heat and a time to rest began to wear off. And before you know it we are all sitting in silence completely absorbed in our own worlds. 

How similar to the human condition.

Let me explain; as usual I tend to look deeper into things. You see, in my mind I am now talking about the history of the human race as we know it, and more specifically the night before Christmas. You know, the night where a virgin lay sweating in a barn with her husband by her side, holding her hand as the baby is coming. Her cries in the darkness heard only by the cows and sheep, and maybe a midwife. I think this peering down the train tracks shows us the faithful people, who are believing in the promises of God even when the cold sets in. Tonight the train was coming, we knew it was, and we knew that it would take us where we needed to go; much as the people of Israel knew and believed that God would come to deliver them. And this warmth, oh the warmth! The thawing out of hands ears and noses. Just like the thawing of our hard hearts and minds.

But, there is also the self-centered-ness that is to come. We lose sight of how precious this gift is, and start treating the warmth as if we deserve it. All the while new stragglers are hoping on, feeling the warmth and reminding us of the world that is outside. And who knows, we may even think that we would be better off off of this train (mistake). I mean it stops in the places we don't want to stop and lets on new and unfamiliar people. We come to expect that this is all for our comfort and not for the salvation-or the gathering- of Gods children back to His kingdom.

So I urge you, my brothers and sisters, to remember this "train". Remember how it felt before you knew grace and all you could feel was that biting cold. Remember the darkness so that you can sit by the door and cry out to those still wandering in it. And remember our Savior, our direct line to God, who came down from heaven into the cold and darkness so that we might live. Merry Christmas from line E, Denver light rail. 

Scars

We all have them.

They lace their way around our bodies and our souls.

We look at ourselves in view of Scripture and see them quite clearly: we see our scars. We see all the past mistakes, failures, sin, and pain. The stories that are buried in every one of those scars seem to define us: having a struggle with this sin or that sin, been through a divorce, victim of a sexual abuse, etc. etc. 

I know that I definitely have my scars. I have those past mistakes and sin that have cut deep into my soul, and there have been times where I ask God if there is any way He still can/still wants to heal me with how utterly broken I am. 

But then I read and remember that not only do we have a Savior that empathizes with my weaknesses, but we have a Savior that has scars too. Jesus has them littering His back, small scars on His forehead, a gash in His side, and those disgustingly beautiful holes in His hands. 

The difference is that He could have healed His scars. He is the Son of God, raised from the dead. Making a little new skin wouldn't have been hard at all. But yet, He still has them. He has them as an eternal reminder of what was accomplished at the cross: our salvation. Read this out of Isaiah 49:16...

"'See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands...' Declares the LORD"

We have a Savior that has scars, showing the most torturous pain anyone has ever gone through. Yet He is still concerned with ours. He knows our stories, He knows our pain. And someday in Heaven, in view of all He has done, our scars will finally be understood.

Biblical Slap in the Face (Waking Up)

Face it, we turn to the Bible when we need to be comforted, when we need to hear God's voice, and sadly, too often, when we want to hear our own opinion in sacred Scripture.

I know that that is an attitude that I have had lately as I search God's word for the answers I crave. I want to hear what I think the solution is to my problems should be with sin struggles and the like, and I want to read my own thoughts off of the delicate pages that make up my copy of the Bible (and I can tell you that our own reasoning is so insignificant compared with what God gives us in the word, as you will find out). 

My studies have, thankfully, been getting deeper, I have been passing off the hour with ease while praying and reading, but maybe, just maybe, I have been blocking the answers from myself due to pride or whatever, I don't really know. 

Anyway, I was searching last night through the Scriptures. I was delving and savoring each word as it came to me off the pages, full of the sacred life that God so gave it. But there was one problem: it just wasn't applying to what I was praying for. It wasn't applying to my deepest cries and questions. It wasn't applying to what I thought I needed to hear.

And then, almost like God was standing there with this verse to throw at my unexpecting heart, I read this: 

"...how is it that you are turning back to

those weak and miserable forces?

Do you wish to be enslaved to them

all over again?"

Um...BOOM

He seized my attention and I started searching again. 

I came to understand that this was me, these "foolish Galatians" reflected my heart. And they are all of us, as we struggle against the sins that seem to hold us captive. Lets read the context: "Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods (idols). But now that you know God--or rather are known by God--how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces? Do you wish to be enslaved to them all over again?" (Gal 4:8-9)

Ouch. Maybe it is the sarcasm that really brings this into perspective for me, but I realized that God was telling me: "Payton, I continually set you free from everything that is holding you 'captive'. But you keep turning around and running right back into the pit. Come with me, and lets run away from it together, I have more than enough strength for you to escape. "

Now come on, lets get real. Lets take what I would call a "biblical slap in the face" and use it to run away from what we have been set free from. God knows us and we know God, lets stop turning to those horrible forces in our lives that the Bible describes as "weak" and "miserable" and lets start turning to the one who promises us that we are "more than conquerors" with His help. Lets use the Bible to give us these little messages that can wake us up from our slumber and help us rebel against the Rebel. 

So why did I write this? Well you decide. Are you learning to run away from what traps you like I am? Or are you learning to study the Bible prayerfully like I am? Or is it something else? 

Study the Word, keep it always in your heart, pray to the One, obey His commands, love Him with everything, and show that love to others. 

Ready to Gather

Time for another-long overdue-post, albeit a quick one (I have about 8 drafts, just didn't feel led to post them).

It is time.

The National Youth Gathering begins tomorrow in San Antonio, and I can already feel the Spirit working on my heart for this sure-to-be-glorious week. Not to often are 30,000 of the nation's Christian Youth gathered under the same roof for a whole week of learning, serving, discussing, and worshiping. Here is a verse I found about God gathering His people:

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east, and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.' Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth- everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made." (Isaiah 43)

Personally, I have never been to such an event. But I have heard plenty of stories, seen plenty of pictures, and heard plenty of songs that I am and have been excited for the past 8 months. But it is more, way more, than a way for people to gather.

You see, we are doing more than standing with each other in what is usually a sports center. We are gathered in the name of our mighty God, ready to praise His holy name with others from around the country. It will be a taste of heaven (a distant bitter taste compared to what heaven will actually be, though). I am so excited to see what God is going to do over this week, all I know is that He is good. Always. And for that reason He is worthy to be praised.

Because He sent His Son to die for us. When we were rebelliously running further into enemy territory, He still came after us. And now we can both live loved and live the love that He has given us. Expect more when I am back from the dome, may His name be lifted higher!